Every year, for as long as I can remember, my parents have hosted an open house for Rosh Hashanah. There are always the familiar faces of friends and family who have consistently attended for as long as I can remember, but every year there are also new faces, guests that we might be meeting for the first or second time. My parents are incredibly welcoming and inclusive. If they hear of someone who does not have anywhere to go for a holiday they invite and welcome them into their home. This tradition of having an open house, a truly open house, one in which it is important to create a community that welcomes people, has been instilled in me from an early age. My parents believe there is always room for one, or in their case, a lot more. They led and taught by example the beautiful Jewish value of Hachnasat Orchim, welcoming guests into your home.
In my previous blog post, Teshuvah Doesn’t Just Mean Saying “I’m Sorry”, I spoke about how Teshuvah is often mistranslated as “repentance” (instead of it’s true meaning, “return”). We can use the idea of Teshuvah to once again help guide us in raising a kind family centered around Jewish values. During the High Holidays, we want to return to our better, kinder, more moral selves. While it is effective to teach values by modeling behavior and leading by example, we often get caught up in our busy lives and don’t always take the time to really highlight and teach those values. To help guide our children in this process of returning to a better self, we can choose one or two Jewish values to focus on for a year. We can set an intention for our family.
Before or during the High Holidays consider having a family meeting. Discuss with your family the theme of returning to a better self. Give a few examples of Jewish values that are important to you (see below for some examples) and ask for suggestions from your family members. What values do your children think are important? What actions do they perform or want to perform? Vote on which values your family wants to focus on during the year. Once a value is chosen, ask for specific examples of how your family can live and express this value and set specific measurable goals. Have a few family meetings throughout the year to check-in with each other.
Keep in mind, children often need tangible examples (something they can physically see or do) to learn values. If your family chooses Tikkun Olam, repairing the world, your goal could be to reduce the trash of your household by recycling and composting. In this example you could even assign specific tasks to each member of your family to help encourage regular action and participation. You could keep a chart of how much trash, recycling and compost you have each week to keep track of your progress.
L’shana Tova Umetukah, have a happy and sweet New Year!
Examples of Jewish Values:
- Hachnasat Orchim: Welcoming guests
- Gemilut Chasadim: Acts of loving kindness
- Tza’ar Ba’alei Chayim: Kindness to animals
- Shalom Bayit: Peaceful home
- Bikur Cholim: Visiting the sick
- Kibbud Av V’Eim: Honoring your parents